Tuesday, 16 July 2013


I've come to the stage in my life when the end of high school is only around the corner and college/sixth form is the soon to be education path I take. For anyone not from England, our education system is different than standard American or other foreign schools. We attend high school from 12-16 and then sixth form/college from 16-18 and then you have the choice of Uni after that. Anyway, the time has come where we choose what courses we want to take and start having interviews at these sixth forms/colleges. The whole process is quite scary and the idea of it affecting our career paths and therefore our futures is almost completely frightening. An experience at one of these interviews got me contemplating. I was handed a sheet of paper that I had to tediously fill out and one of the questions took me by surprise. 'What do you strongly believe in?' I hope you all agree with me that this is quite a hard question for a 16 year old to answer. I left it blank sadly, but on the train journey home, I couldn't stop thinking about what my answer would/should be. I decided my strongest passion was education. As a British citizen, I am incredibly lucky to be entitled to 14 years of free education at a public school. As are the 9.5 million school aged children in England. But how many of these people actually appreciate how considerably lucky they are? 

My passion for education and why I consider myself lucky comes from my double view on the topic of education. My parents have always supported me and my siblings during our school years and this always helped gave me a good outlook when it came to learning. But I'm also mainly passionate because I wanted them to feel happy that their children had got a good education when they couldn't themselves. My parents lived in a less economically developed country during their youth and never got to compete their education. My father from the age of 14 was taken out of school by his parents and made to work to help provide for his family of 7 as he was the oldest male child in the household and he has been working ever since. He told us that he enjoyed school for the short period he was there and he was good at learning but it was expensive and money was the key to survival. My mother married very young and therefore ended her education to meet her new family's needs. These kind of stories makes me sad, not only because they are about my parents but because these two people are bright and intelligent but they could have been brighter if they had continued with their education. I suppose its not all sad, I mean because of there lack of education they've also become two of the most inspiring people in my life. My father for instance, is the most hardworking man I know and I don't think I've ever seen him give up with a job or a task. Their background is also the reason my siblings and I turned out the way we are and why I feel I have to work hard in school.

So, I'm not going to lie, it does anger me when people waste the privilege we as British citizens or citizens from more developed countries get to educate ourselves and increase our knowledge when so many around the world don't get the chance nor have the money to do something we take for granted everyday. It may not be the most exhilarating of activities but someone across the world from you is probably paying their entire world to do the exact same as you. So my message for you is to appreciate what you have because you're lucky. But mainly, educate yourself when you still have the chance because it's important. It's what makes you different from everyone around you, it's what makes you interesting. So read books, pay attention in class, experience things that will benefit you for the better. Do it because you've been given the chance to be a better you.


Monday, 17 June 2013

To be yourself is all that you can do.

Adolescence is the real beginning of an average human’s life. It is the age where you begin to explore your feelings, your dreams, yourself and your own mind. It is the age that blossoms your instincts of fitting into the world around you. I’m not saying the years before it were irrelevant. Your upbringing makes you who you are but adolescence is all about what you make of your childhood and your ideas. You explore who you are in the big bad game called the universe. 9 times out of 10, you are the mere insignificant pawn trying not to be the odd one out. Don’t worry; you’re on the same boat as about 90% of the teenage population.

You start off fresh and pure and innocent. Thinking you’re going to make a difference to others and every day will contain a new experience. So ignorant and hopeful. Then a few years go on and you find yourself in the same place you started, a ditch full of little achievements. You begin to question what you've done and if you’re ever going to reach your goals, forgetting that you’re only 16 and the world is at your feet. So, you give up. You stop caring about the little things because you think they don’t matter. You try and experience ‘new’ things and you try incredibly hard to do whatever you can to get out of the pessimistic state of mind you’re in, in order to get the future that you hope one day will come true. And SNAP. You fall into the mouse trap that the universe, or perhaps even society, sets out for you. 

This is life’s way of pushing you into a state of conformity in your adolescent time. It is this time that blossoms your instincts of fitting into the world around you. I am also assuming that this state of conformity continues even past your adolescent years but forgive me if I’m wrong, I am myself stuck in the middle of this cycle. But why? Why do we as humans feel like we have to fit in? Like we’re a puzzle piece, an inanimate object whose purpose is to complete the picture it was made to create but the reality is that it usually just gets lost and sometimes never found. We do it because adolescence isn't what we wanted it to be, and we think conforming to what everyone else is doing is what is going to bring us happiness.  We do it because we want to feel safe and as if we are completing our sole purpose on this universe and actually doing something without lives. Fitting in is the easy route to our goals, to our future. Doing the ordinary thing and sticking with the people doing the same as you. Is it true? Does it make us happy? Does it feel like we’re making a difference to other people’s lives, and our own life? I personally just feel like I’m identical to everyone else but mentally I feel like I should be miles away from the people around me.

A year ago, I honestly found myself change into someone that now I would immensely dislike. I wanted to have friends that were ‘cool,’ that went to amazing parties and wore ‘cool’ clothes. I wanted to be one of those so called ‘cool’ people that had a 'united' group of friends who stuck up for each other. In order to get those friends, I didn't stop for anything. I left my old group of friends who I had known for 8 years. I began to start intoxicating myself because everyone was doing it at these so called cool parties, going against certain beliefs and values I had once strongly had faith in. I had begun to get a little out of control but I was completely oblivious to it, because I thought I was happy. Then something brought me back to earth. It felt like it was an unearthly, almost mystical message being sent to get my head out of the clouds. Something big happened with the ‘cool’ group and I began to see their true colours which seemed to have been hidden to me because of my imaginary state of happiness. I realised I wasn't happy and these people weren't my real friends. They weren't benefiting me in anyway nor helping me get my well-deserved better future.

Can a person be happy forever, or is it just a state of mind? That would change everything. If conforming made me think I was happy for a little while, does it matter if I conformed to be happy? No, of course not; if you feel happy within yourself then do it. But the main point I wanted to express was that the main reason we conform, is because of our lack of confidence. A confident person is someone who can do their own thing and not care what others think of us. We base what we do on the judgements others make of us and this is wrong. If no-one judged each other, you could be this abstract and interesting person that you really do want to be and perhaps even be in a state of happiness for longer and on your own accord. However, back in reality, everyone judges people and it has become a part of human nature. The only way of breaking out of conformity is by having the confidence to be who you want to be, wear what you want to wear, do what YOU want to do. Easier said than done, i hear a lot of you think but believe me, over time you will begin to realise and confidence will come naturally. Basically, I'm trying to tell you to be yourself, because uniqueness is beautiful.

I leave you with audioslave because this song is brilliant and it reflects my message quite well. 


Monday, 27 May 2013


I've always wanted to be able to write. Write well, like the authors who write my favourite books and make me feel thousands of emotions all at once. You could say the desire to acquire this skill came from my late blossoming love for reading. I want to say I've been reading from a young age and that I'm well-equipped with the means of marvellous quotes from every well-known book. But I am not and I would be lying if I said I did. This would go against the purpose for starting this blog, it’s quite the opposite. I am not trying to be someone I'm not but I am trying to discover who I actually am and what role I play in the big bad universe and possibly entertain you along the way.

The skill to write has always fascinated me. How someone can match and perfect their words to create a beautiful sentences that flow together to create the right paragraph therefore creating the perfect piece of literature. It’s an art form in itself and requires some amount of skill. I've always had the mentality that anything is possible so, why shouldn't my logically thinking brain join the world of the creative? My brother received the creative genes from my mother whereas I received a love for maths and science from my father. So this blog is almost like my chance to rebel against Mother Nature. My brother is also my inspiration to write. His skills are brilliant and he’s a very intellectual person who I enjoy talking to even if his ever-growing arrogance deems that all his opinions are ‘right’.

I am a teen year old girl living in the ‘sunny’ south of England. And that is all you need to know. My identity is not significant and would not change your life. I am an ordinary adolescent who just wants to write about her thoughts. Cliché? Possibly but the more you get to know me, the more you’ll uncover me. But for now, you can call me Barbarella. Much like the late 1960’s, French-Italian film about the 41st century astronaut, Barberella, who lands on an unknown planet. It all seemed very relevant as I set out my journey to land on the mysterious universe of writing. However, my journey will be less sexual and far less dramatic than the film. I do recommend watching it though; it’s quite funny once you get past the disturbing parts. I hope you enjoy what you read (:  

‘You find adventure beyond your imaginations when you get lost in space with Barbarella’